?

Log in

barrelsncrates
Title: Clearly, Nothing Gets Done Around Here [One-shot]
Genre: Gen and Crack
Word Count: 1030
Rating/Warnings: PG-13. Lots of crack, light movie references, some sexual innuendo as well as America being slightly insensitive towards England and England having a bad reaction about that.
Summary: America brings a Ghostbusters prop to a world meeting and chaos ensues.




It was moments like these that made America extremely disappointed with his fellow nations. It didn't take a cinephile to recognize the thing he was carrying on his back.

"America, why are you carrying a vacuum around?" Italy asked. "The staff already does pretty good job cleaning the place up."

America rolled his eyes. "It's not a vacuum cleaner. It's a proton pack!" America turned around to give the man a better look. "See?"

"Is that a reference to the Ghostbusters movies?" Japan took out his reading glasses as he came closer to study the machine. "I remember that movie," he said, with a hint of fondness in his voice. "If I remember correctly, this is supposed to be portable particle accelerator."

"Finally!" America exclaimed. "Somebody here gets it!"

He gave Japan a high-five.

"I got that reference, too," Canada said, from the far corner of the room. "That film was written by one of my people, Dan Ak--"

"That's ridiculous. A portable particle accelerator?" Switzerland looked slightly agitated, as usual. "Is there supposed to be a meaning behind all of this, America? I hope this isn't supposed to be a jab at CERN. It's bad enough that we have to slash its budget." Several angry voices could be heard across the table.

America frowned. "Did you even bother to listen to what I just said? I said-"

"QUIET!!" Germany yelled and everyone immediately fell silent. Only five minutes into the scheduled bathroom break and another argument was already starting up. Germany reminded himself that he should avoid getting worked up for the sake of his dangerously high blood pressure. Perhaps, he thought, he should look into yoga lessons.

Germany looked over at America and slanted his eyes. "What... is that?"

"It's a proton pack!"

Germany gave him a weary look and said, "How did you get that through security? No weapons are allowed." Then, he remembered and quickly added, "Except for magic markers and sharpies, which are to be strictly used for alien invasions or other related-emergencies."

America smiled. "Well, then, you don't have to worry a thing because this, baby here, is going to take care of the ghosts!"

"I didn't know we had a ghost problem," Italy said. "They're not mean ghosts, are they?"

China rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he looked over to his left, where Canada happened to be sitting.

America continued. "This device generates a Proton Stream and it emits energy which dissipates the psychokinetic energy of the ghosts. Once you weaken the ghosts, you can capture them!" He flashed a smile and struck a pose that looked like it belonged on a 'We Can Do It!' poster.

England looked enthralled.

"There are no such things as ghosts. And I have no idea why you decided to bring this to a world meeting. Now," Germany said, taking step towards America, "put that toy away, America."

America jerked away, gripping his wand. "The proton pack is not a toy."

They stared down at each other until Germany finally relented. "Fine!"

The meeting resumed and after several attempts to sit down, America decided to take off his proton pack and keep it besides his chair.

"Hey, America," England whispered from his side. "Did you get that off from ebay? Or is that the real thing?"

"Got it straight from Sony Pictures!" America said, with a wink.

England looked at the proton pack and bit his lower lip. "Do you suppose," he began to ask, "that I could try it out for a bit?"

America laughed. "What? No way!"

England turned red and stuttered. "And w-why not?"

"Dude, you're just going to break it. I can't be having that. The studio would kill me." He took a quick glance at England and added, "On second thought, you might end up hurting yourself just trying to carry that thing."

England nearly snapped his fountain pen in half. "I beg your pardon?"

"Sorry, bro. No can do!" America said, before he pulled out a box of Stay Puft marshmallows.

England pulled out a wand from his sleeve and aimed it at the proton pack. "Take that!" A streak of green light shot out and struck the device. Several nations shouted but nobody made a motion to leave the meeting room. Unfortunately, this type of event wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence.

France sighed. "Oh dear... Not thing again."

"What the heck did you do?" America yelled, trying hard not to breathe in the smoke.

"I just made a little adjustment to that machine of yours," England said, with a huff. "No one's a match for Britannia-Hey!!" He cried out as Germany snatched his wand and held it high above his head where England couldn't reach it.

"No weapons are allowed!" Germany hate having to repeat himself. Clearly, their security standards have gotten too lax. He took a deep breath and looked at England dead-in-the-eye. "Do you want me to tie you up and lock you in the closet?"

Somewhere in the background, Italy mumbled something about kinky habits.

"Is everyone done releasing sexual tension?" France said, to no one in particular. "I have a presentation to give. I've been working on this all night and I would like everyone to pay attention. We do have an economic crisis that we have to solve."

"Hold a second!" America tapped the proton pack tentatively with his pencil. "I think... I think it's actually working." He pressed his ear against the machine and indeed, he could hear the generator running inside. Tears of joy sprang to his eyes. "It works! It really works!!" He squeezed England in a tight hug. "England!! Your make-believe magic worked!! You're amazing!!"

Any bit of joy England might have felt withered away in that instance. "Make-believe... magic?" His voice was low and thunderous.

Romano threw his hands up in the air. "Finally, we can get that espresso machine fixed!"

"Hey, England? Would you mind taking a look at my car after the meeting?" Spain asked.

America was already strapping his goggles and putting on his pack. "So cool!! I can't wait to try this out!!" He picked up the wand and it seemed to take on a life of its own, humming with energy.

"Stop him! He's going to blow this place," somebody shouted.

Canada immediately ducked underneath the table.

"Looks like we got a ghost. Stand back, everybody!" was the last warning America gave.

He aimed and fired.

END.
 
 
barrelsncrates
31 July 2013 @ 09:14 pm
Title: Screenwriter [One-shot]
Genre: General
Word Count: 1369
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: Alfred is an up-and-coming Hollywood director who just wants to cast Arthur, a talented but still relatively unknown actor, in his sci-fi action film. He doesn't know anything about the actor but has a gut feeling that he's the right one.




Read more...Collapse )
 
 
barrelsncrates
03 March 2013 @ 08:22 pm
TITLE: Doppelgänger
AUTHOR: barrelsncrates
RECIPIENT: serenswyrd
RATING/ WARNING: PG-13 (for some language) and some hints of angst
SUMMARY: For a prompt which called for a jealous Alfred. The competition could be male, female, human or nation. In this story's universe, England meets America's human counterpart and against his better judgment, pursues a friendship. America doesn't know what to make of it. I did the best I could but this story turned out to be a lot more complex than I anticipated. Hope you don't mind (too much) what I have here. I'm doing a pinch-hit and this is what I could come up with in a matter of a few days. I hope to expand on this story in the future so consider this as a.... preview?

Read more...Collapse )
Tags:
 
 
barrelsncrates
07 September 2012 @ 08:36 pm
Leave buyer feedback in the comments on this page.
Tags:
 
 
barrelsncrates
07 August 2012 @ 10:29 pm
Title:  The Years Together As Companions- Part 1
Genre: General, Humor
Word Count: 877
Rating/Warnings: PG, references to hunting and France
Summary: England decides to host a little competition before hosting the actual Olympic games himself. America, surprisingly, isn't enthusiastic about this and England finds out why.
Read more...Collapse )
 
 
 
barrelsncrates
13 July 2012 @ 05:08 pm

The England Plush is the hardest, the second-most expensive piece and also, the most recent addition to my collection. It was the first Hetalia item that I wanted-- if I had to keep only one Hetalia piece, it would have been this one (although that has changed since then, see 3rd picture below). It's such a cutie. Unfortunately, I will be bringing two kitties to my home and based on my experience, they will probably gnaw its head off. Which is quite a shame since I don't like keeping it in its box.

If you notice, England is sitting on top of the Prussia bandana- the bonus item that came with the anime S3 volume, which is tucked away at the side. The S3 DVD box set gave me the least headache in terms of shipping. I never had to worry about theft and I could just sit and wait for the FedEx man to arrive. Plus, it came with free shipping. ^^



The OCFs weren't as hard to obtain as I expected since I had the unusual luck of being at the right time and place. Initially, I thought England and America were missing something and I decided to add Canada to complete the set. I think it looks great but considering that I'm running low on cash, I would be happy to just keep Canada alone.

The Arte Stella book is in the background. It is the most expensive piece by far.



The UK stik poster was the first piece in my collection. I know I said that the England plush was the first Hetalia item that I wanted but I consider this poster to be the best piece in my entire collection.


I do have a few doujinshi but I regret buying most of them so I won't show them here. I am fond of this one, however. It's hard to find a UK-US family centric piece and one with Sealand to boot! The artwork and the storyline is simple but lovely.



If you haven't realized by now, my intention was to collect England-only pieces. But obviously, that didn't work. I'm planning on weeding my collection in the future. I do like the markers but they gave me a headache since I lost my pencil case. The ones you see are the replacements.



I do have a lot more Hetalia posters but this is my second-favorite next to the UK stik poster.
 
 
barrelsncrates
03 March 2012 @ 01:22 pm
I got my mail today. I was expecting to get my hetalia stik poster set but all I got was a tube capped on only one side and a piece of plastic tissue (or bag) inside. >_>;; I knew something was wrong when I ran downstairs and couldn't find the mailman (how in the world can they move so fast...) This is definitely not my week....
 
 
barrelsncrates
28 February 2012 @ 04:26 pm

I can't find my pencil case. I've been looking for it for days and I don't have a clue where it's been since I've driving to so many different places. It has all the cool stationary tools I collected into an equally cute pouch. Including the pricy Hetalia marker set, those reliable ballpoint pens, and my never-failing mini stapler. Now I have a mechanical pencil that doesn't work and it looks like my backup mini stapler has fallen apart.

My parents heard me rant about this before my practice GRE exam and tried to send me some pens and pencils (in a plastic cookie bag). Turns out that I don't have that either.

It's bad enough that I got my wallet stolen awhile ago. >_>;;

Next time, I need to tie my pencil case to my bag.

At least, I still have my Japan/China marker left. And I get to look forward to bird watching tomorrow.

The next post I'm putting up is probably going to be a sales post. I need to sell some of my doujinshi and my posters.

 
 
barrelsncrates
22 February 2012 @ 10:50 pm
Tomorrow morning, I have a philosophy class and it's my only class for the day. I'm seriously wondering if I should take this class for a Pass/Fail since although my grades are fine, I don't have a head for proofs and I know that I'm not understanding the material on a level that I wish I am. Heck, I don't even really need the class to graduate but I don't want to take on another lab course (terrible idea take on 3+ labs in a semester). But the professor is a cool and interesting guy (he sort of reminds me of Rowan Atkinson) and he has interesting stories.

   Here's the picture of the day! It's a stock picture and I have no idea where it's from. But I like it.   

I have some lab reports and readings to finish for next week. But more importantly, I need to get cracking on the research material in cognitive psychology and I'm seeing the professor on Friday. But I'll be in and out of my room tomorrow. I'm going to check out the neuroscience talk (finally! the topic is on something I'm somewhat familiar with) on campus in the afternoon and then, I have to make preparations for the baking competition on Saturday! On Friday, I will see my professor and afterwards, I'll skip out on volunteering activity and go to the lecture/workshop on microscopes in the town nearby. Maybe, I'll do lunch with my friend and then, I'll go out with somebody for the campus wide film festival. Then, I'll go back and finish preparing the cake. 

The weekends are pretty much reserved for studying. But I have to take the GRE practice exam and go to the baking competition on Saturday. Then, I have to attend RCIA and Mass on Sunday. 

I seriously need a job but the jobs that I'm qualified for don't work with my schedule. There was one job that I thought about doing but it requires me to be able to lift 40 lbs. Even if I was willing, I doubt they would hire me since I lost a lot of weight (almost 10 lbs) from being sick last semester. 

Today, I took a bit of a break and watched Life in a Day. Not the best film in the world but I didn't mind sitting through it and the soundtrack is decent. 
 
 
barrelsncrates

I am getting a bit unnerved by the upcoming exams. It amazes me how much time has gone by. There are assigned readings for my classes but there isn't a main textbook we refer to for our coursework. I've seen some of the sample exam questions. They're lecture-based but they're pretty much all-or-nothing type of questions. They require the test-taker to not only have a firm grasp of the background material but also have thoughtful (and well-written opinions) on it. One of my professors is notorious for deducting a lot of points off for grammar and formatting (including writing in margins and crossed-out-words). I hope I can make it! I can't afford (metaphorically and literally) to mess up my grades this semester. For picture of the day, I've stumbled upon this as I was sorting the files on my USB:

My cat living out the last of his days by the pots and pans.

I've ordered a bunch of stuff on amazon.com which includes a hardcover copy of The Hobbit (finally my own copy!), The Silmarillion (which is going to be a tough read) and The Children of Hurin, Janelle Monáe's ArchAndroid (a truly fantastic album) and other cds by Pavarotti and Paul Potts (and no, I didn't start listening to Pavarotti b/c Paul Potts). There were German and Swedish albums I want to get but I decided to hold off b/c 1) I need to seriously get a job, 2) the import fees can be ridiculous even if the album is a little bit old and 3) it's hard to find the exact album that I want. It amazes how much the shipping fees add up to!

So much medical history to look at and I'm actually considering the idea of a senior thesis project or something along the lines before I graduate next term. I have to finance quite a bit to try and get into veterinarian school. It's not even funny when I try to think about it. I wish I had a job b/c it would at least take my mind off of those issues. But maybe I should take the time and use it for more volunteer service. I've been mainly volunteering in rehabilitation and adult education centers so it would be nice if I focused on more clinical work as well.